Life and metta

It's been a long time...
And there's an unfinished draft. It's October now, and it's more than half over. So many things happened between the last post and now. Incredible lot.

Work, relationship, family..
There's always a bugging question that once in a few years will come up: What is the meaning of life?
You see, without knowing the answer to this question, there is no purpose in everyday that we wake up. It also implies that the things we do are done for nothing. No matter how important we can rate it, it's just alright to not have, not done. For a long time, it's my dream that I shall retreat into nature, farm will be good, and do things for the community. Perhaps my life hasn't had times when I had to struggle to fill my stomach, so I can't appreciate the importance of securing the stomach factor. But many people nowadays don't struggle to fill the stomach. They want to fill the pockets that have no known depths, the mind that has no quiet space, the senses that have no mindfulness of the present. Inadvertantly, all of us, including I, start to live that life that the society have collectively entrenched on our conciousness. Must have a job to have an income, have to climb the social ladder, have to have a gf and then wife, children, have to have self satisfaction/fulfillment, have to have ambitions (not dreams, goals also not good enough), have to play alot, have to travel to see the many different scenes and taste their food, etc etc..
I'm in the society, living other's expectations. But I'm different, as with everybody tries to, too. I will do things differently. I'm a skeptic, I'm a hiong kah. As far as possible, I don't care what people think of me as long as what I do is logical and gets to the same destination. But it's not easy.. because, to participate in this society, one have to be subjected to its scrutiny and checks and tongues. Tongues, especially, are the worst.

But I think the bottom line, no matter what, is that we should know that kamma will return, that's the order of nature. If the mind is firm and honourable, let not the currents of our cranial juices disrupt our traquility and peace. That would be suffering through the mind door.

May I be free from enmity;
May I be free from mental suffering;
May I be free from physical suffering;
May I take care of myself happily.

May my parents, relatives, friends, teachers, guardian angel, all beings,
May they be free from enmity;
May all they be free from mental suffering;
May all they be free from physical suffering;
May all take care of themselves happily.

Wish everyone a happy and peaceful sleep.