Anything that comes to mind

I don't switch on the computer often at home anymore. I've had enough of it at work. And if I did, I usually spend more than planned time doing nothing really productive-like now.
There's alot of bluriness in life. And when I am more conscious, there'll be questions framed for each subject, when no, everything just zips by in the short term memory.

One subject that surfaces on and off is that of being a carnivore. More civilised, self-deceptive people would call themselves non-vegetarian.. So the question is that in Buddhism, things are destined. Anyway, it's a personal observation, too. So if everything is more or less pre-destined, then isn't it that the once-living meat on the table destined to be served as food since it should have sinned in previous life? If so, we are destined to eat it, isn't it? Then why should one be encouraged to be a vegan? Maybe this question is simpler, how about the ant that runs across the table and induced your killing instinct? Alot of trouble and guilt...


Singapore will probably lose its place in Asia in 5o years time. I believe that this country was built by the great influx of immigrant in the last 200 years with the mentality of 'make it or die' attitude. But Singaporeans nowadays are living comfortably, taking things for granted and not willing to venture. Compared to alot of young people in our neighbouring country, we have a high chance of being displaced by them. In school now, the first few classes are made up mostly of foreign pupils. They have to juggle with many of life's practicalities yet is able to study well. Their Singaporean classmates have all the comfort, but precisely because of that, they are not working hard.. This' the reason that we will lose the survival instinct. There's no need to fight.


The room is always in a mess. It can never be proper and neat. Things that perhaps could be arranged in a certain way, but not. Reasons include stinging on the proper storage, laziness to arrange, too many things, no time... All in all, there's just too little impetus and motivation to put things right..


Money is an irritating issue. No amount is enough.. no amount...


Zf is leaving for US of A for a year soon.. Great sadness.. A role model in morality and attitude.. Hai...... But I'm happy for him. In almost any way one sees it, this job will help him greatly in many areas.. Really wish him safety, health and smooth-sailing work. All the best!
For Honour And Glory


My beau will be going away on a work trip for a month. The trip falls exactly through the whole period of school holidays. So much for a school holiday.. A lonely holiday.. Even if I go on a road trip to release myself of all the stresses of everything will be nice but it will feel really strange.. that I should go on an experience without her to share with... Makes me doesn't look forward to the hols..Will it be another period of bottled up stress? *frowns and shake head*


Kel must have read my previous post. Sent a sms one morning to give encouragements. It's so sweet of her. Thanks Sis!


This is a year that I have not written about my new year resolution. And I have not made a single journal/diary entry although the road have so far have hit the bump so many times.. I'm just living the weeks.. Dread the mondays, welcome the Wednesdays, fear and glad for the Fridays, gone the Saturday Sundays... Oh where, oh where am I in life? Oh what, oh what is life?


Sleep.. sleep is never enough, never well... Too much and I get a headache, a little too little and the day becomes tiring.. There's no just nice..


The four teaching years will be an arduous journey.. If I had not been commando trained, I would convince myself I can't do it. I'll surely get a specialist and get myself diagnose with some throat or dick ailment that will get me off the teaching contract without having to compensate a single cent. But normally, only the rich are able to resort to that effectively. The poorer population are bounded by ethics and honour- stupidly..



What is one thing that can get me away from all these? Sounds like trying to run away, so what? I'm not not returning.. but I want to get away now....! maybe more 'nows' later on? It doesn't make me less of a person..


The greatest mistake of mankind is to start quarrying animals, caging them up.. Once we started doing that, we started to cage ourselves up also.. All cooped up in physical space and in the mind...


Time to return to the conscious sleep left from all the nights..


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